Chinglish

We will post the signs we have seen translated into creative English here.
Chinese translating into English:
I saw in someone's blog that he called these translations "Chinglish." Our first experience was being invited to a barbecue for "snake and beverages." (Okay, sometimes they are just "typos?")
We have since found two books on Chinglish. We can't really make fun of their English, because at least they have something written in English for us foreigners. Just imagine how we would do writing signs in Chinese! (How about those tattoos? Do they really mean what we are told?!)
**I want to emphasize that as westerners in China, we very much appreciate any translations!**

Note Rule 2, line 2:

What grass?!

Reference to train passengers:

This is posted at an exit:

Even I had to look up "virescence!"

"The state or process of becoming green."

On a trash can:

Shambles?

Vs. uncivilized parks:

How social? 

Ah, the English language! Of course, what comes after 1st?

Bicycles kind of have to use the bridges, so do they mean for you to get off the bicycle when on the bridge?

Received a flyer from Grand Gateway Clubhouse about different fitness class options. In Boxercise, they say you can "Punch yourself to a perfect physique."

This is a little different. Sometimes maps are shown with north at the bottom, such as the area around a subway station. But this map is a mirror image, with north at the top, but east is the the left and west to the right:

This is where a westerner is unaware of the meaning of the Kanji character he is wearing:

It means "piles" as in hemorrhoids! (Thanks, Gerri S!)

Not so much a translation problem, as an interpretation one:

Children's food is candy and snacks!

Here, we think they mean "First Aid Kit" for the toolkit:

Underage grass?

Misspellings and "typos" abound in the U.S., so we can understand about the towhead, but the rest of it?:

If you don't recognize the letters, then you won't realize this photo is reversed:

You go, girl?

On a bop-the-gopher game:

(Invetsmts havn't the risk, Quietly allies!)

Hmm, a literal T-shirt:

The second sign directs you to the pedal boats:

(Stairwell:)

Children's department store:

??

Yum! BBQ desserts:

A menu page example:

This isn't Chinglish, this is Britlish:

In our Chinese lessons, the teacher called pedestrian crosswalks "zebra crossings." Now we realize that is a British term.
And we are improving our English vocabulary with words like vicissitude and cicerone (guide):

And we thought Americans were bad for turning nouns into verbs:

This is how Jackie Chan keeps a full head of hair:

A mouthful:

This is actually from Korea; clothes for porky kids?

Maybe they do mean this:

They do mean this!

 

And this!

At an ancestor shrine:

At the Matchbox Museum:

I am not going to let my kids eat this bread!

Dung vendor in Vietnam:

High Tech Ward in Vietnam:

Only the windows are civilized:

The Oriental Land aircraft carrier had plenty of signs for us:

A classic! (Thanks, Colin!)